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新GRE作文真题满分范文讲解剖析(Argument47)


GRE作文考试最大的特点,便是GRE题库的公开,所有GRE考试中可能会出现的作文题目,都已经事先公布在ETS的GRE官网上。尽管考题公开透明,但庞大的题量,对于想要做好充分准备的考生来说,仍然算得上是巨大的挑战。为了方便广大考生准备GRE作文,小站为大家整理了针对题库中ARGUMENT类文章题目的满分范文,包含详细的逐段讲解和满分要素剖析,相信能给大家提供一些帮助。

Arg-47

The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores:

"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

满分范文赏析

In this memo the owner of Movies Galore Video concludes that in order to boost profits, Movies Galore's stores should cut back on operating hours and stock. To support this conclusion the owner points out that since Movies Galore's downtown Marston store implemented these changes, the desired results were achieved with very few customer complaints. While the plan of action seems to be a sensible one, the owner's argument relies on several unsubstantiated assumptions and needs to be further developed.

【此段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument开头段结构,即:C – E - F的开头结构,首句概括原文的C(Conclusion)。接下来的一句话概括了原文为了支持他的结论所引用的E(Evidence)。最后尾句中给出开头段到正文段的过渡句,指出原文在逻辑上存在F(Flaw)。

【此段功能】

本段作为Argument开头段,具体功能就在发起攻击。首先,概括原文的结论:Movie Galore(简称MG)应该通过减少operating hour和stock来提高利润。接下来分别列举了原文为了支持这个结论引用的证据:MG的Marston store做出了上述改变获得和很少的客户抱怨。论据的归纳用于铺垫出正文段的具体攻击。最后点出原文存在逻辑错误,引出后面的分析。

In the first place, implicit in the argument is the assumption that no other means of boosting profits is available to Movies Galore. While the owner has explicitly ruled out the option of raising its rental rates, the owner ignores other means: selling videos, renting and selling compact discs, candy, and so on. Without considering alternatives, the owner cannot justifiably conclude that the proposed changes are the best method to boost profit.

【此段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument正文段结构,即:概括第一个逻辑错误的错误类型和原文犯错位置,接下来给出合理的理由和他因来反驳原文。

【此段功能】

本段作为正文第一段,攻击文章犯的主要逻辑错误:绝对化语气。原文中暗示“只能通过上述方法来提高profit”的说法过于绝对。进一步,作者提出了其他可以调高营业额的方法,例如raising rental rate, selling video以及renting&selling compact disc, candy等进一步反驳原文的绝对化语气。

A second problem with the argument is that it assumes that the proposed changes would actually enhance profits. It is entirely possible that the lost revenue from reducing store hours would outweigh the savings in reduced operating costs. Without a cost-benefit analysis that illustrates the significant numbers, there is no way to tell. Furthermore, perhaps Movies Galore customers are attracted to the stores' wide selection and so reducing the inventory may turn patrons off.

【此段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument正文段结构,即:概括第二个逻辑错误的错误类型和原文犯错位置,接下来给出合理的理由和他因来反驳原文。

【此段功能】

本段作为正文第二段,攻击文章犯的主要逻辑错误:profit类错误。原文“the change会enhance profit”的说法缺乏证据。进一步,作者提出了其他不会盈利的可能性来驳斥这一观点,例如lost revenue大于reopating cost,或者上述做法会使顾客流失。作者认为,在缺乏cost-benefit analysis的前提下无法断定一定会盈利。

Two additional problems involve the downtown Marston store. First, the owner implicitly assumes that the store has increased its profits as a result of eliminating evening operating hours and stocking only newer movies. Yet the owner provides no evidence to support this claim. A second problem with Marston is that the owner assumes this store is representative of Movies Galore outlets in general. It is entirely possible that, due to its downtown location, the Marston store attracts clientele with specific habits. Or perhaps downtown Marston lacks competing video stores or movie theaters, whereas Movies Galore's other stores are located in areas with many competitors. Without accounting for such possibilities, the owner cannot support his argument.

【此段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument正文段结构,即:概括第三个逻辑错误的错误类型和原文犯错位置,接下来给出合理的理由和他因来反驳原文。

【此段功能】

本段作为正文第三段,攻击文章犯的主要逻辑错误:错误因果(时间先后),错误类比。作者原文中关于Marston的论据存在两个问题,一是无法说明Marston的盈利是由于减少operating hour和stock造成的;二是,Marston的盈利经验未必课可以应用到其他分店中。进一步,作者给出Marston营业的其他可能性和原因来驳斥原文观点,例如Marston处于downtown可以吸引更多有特殊喜好的顾客,或者Marston所处地区缺乏竞争者。

In conclusion, in light of the evidence presented, the argument fails to convince. To strengthen it the owner must provide a link between the savings of the proposed course of action and loss in revenue. It would also be helpful to be presented with other viable means of boosting profits. To better evaluate the argument an audience would need to review a comparative analysis of several stores.

【此段结构】

本段采用了标准的Argument结尾段结构,即:C – S的结尾结构,首先再次重申原文的站不住脚的Conclusion,接下来给出给合理建议Suggestion。

【此段功能】

本段作为Argument结尾段,具体功能就总结归纳+建议措施,首先再次重申:原文的论断是没有说服力的。接下来作者给出几条是文章更有说服力的合理化建议:一是作者需要呈现cost-benefit analysis,二是作可以提出其他可能盈利的渠道,最后作者要对MG所有的分店进行综合分析。这几条建议含蓄的隐射前面的错误,前后呼应,文章有力结尾,浑然一体。

满分因素剖析

一、语言方面

1. In this memo the owner of Movies Galore Video concludes that ... . To support this conclusion the owner points out that ... . While the plan of action seems to be a sensible one, the owner's argument relies on several unsubstantiated assumptions and needs to be further developed.

标志性的GRE argument开头段,采用了C-E-F的逻辑结构。首句提出原文的conclusion,第二句以用原文中为了支撑结论所提到的例子。最后提出原文存在逻辑上的Flaw,引出下文。

2. In the first place, implicit in the argument is the assumption that no other means of boosting profits is available to Movies Galore. (此句是第一个正文段的首句,指出了原文中的第一个逻辑错误——“绝对化语气”。此句用到了倒装结构,系动词is 后面的部分implict in the argument被提到is前面。这种句式结构独特,可以吸引读者眼球,尤其当放在论证段首句时)While the owner has explicitly ruled out ... . (提出原文中忽略的可能性来反驳原文中的论断)Without considering alternatives, the owner cannot justifiably conclude that the proposed changes are the best method to boost profit.

3. A second problem with the argument is that it assumes that the proposed changes would actually enhance profits. It is entirely possible that the lost revenue ... would outweigh ... costs. Without a cost-benefit analysis that illustrates the significant numbers, there is no way to tell.

标志性的GRE argument profit类错误分析段落

二、逻辑结构

本文内容清晰,逻辑严谨,采用了开头段——正文段1——正文段2——正文段3——结尾段的五段论结构,文章长短适中,层次一目了然。开头段按照C-E-F的逻辑结构,顺利引出后文的分析。论证段中,从提出错误,到分析错误,到给出可能性,最后总结错误,层次清晰,衔接自然。结尾段总结全文,重申错误,给出合理化建议。这样一篇文章从开头到结尾逻辑严谨,内容清晰,圆满的完成了论证的作用。

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